Little Bits of Crap News: Midweek edition 10.08.11

I've just had one of those random moments wondering 'what else' goes on in the world. Like most middle aged men I love news about music, cars, gadgets, but I really love news about real people, real news! You know the 'something nice happened to aunty Marge' after she helped stop the kids robbing the local Kebab store kinda stuff. It's great! It's good to know there are nice people out there. Especially after this weeks bizarre events in the UK. For the record I am not going to turn this into a commentary on that, there is plenty of completely wrong opinions and no need for my misinformed opinion to be thrown into the mix.

I'm here to tell you that there is something far worse out there, something that is the root cause of all of the problems we experience..........Shite Celebrity News.

So from now on we're going to do a nice little midweek roundup of the worst music celebrity news. This week's top 3

1.) Mel B won't give her baby a 'boring' name - Great! the things not even born yet and there is already an LA psychologist rubbing his hands. Names like Bubblegum and Skylar are on the cards. We suggest a new trend, call your daughter Dave and you son Barbara..At least it's better than the fact you tagged your child for life with the fact it was conceived at Disney!

2.) Keith Urban introduces a new fragrance - So you might be thanking god that you get to wake up next to Nicole Kidman, which OK, does allow you some form of hero worship from my mates down the pub. BUT, why on earth would you want to smell like Keith, firstly his name is Keith, and secondly like the rest of you, I wouldn't know a single song by Keith Urban. So why the heck would I want his stench. Oh it's called Pheonix "to express just the right blend of masculinity, mystery and sensuality" ....what's wrong with lynx?

3.) Nicki Minaj compares working a series of dead end jobs to 'torture' - No we don't know who the hell she is either, but we'll assume she'll be another music business statistic and back in that dead end job by the end of the year.

So there you have it, you're a little nearer to death and feel no better for it. Proof that Gigseens Crap News Midweek Edition works a treat...Result!