Morrissey Vs The Meat

It's been reported that Morrissey asked for all fans entering the Middlesborough Town Hall Gig last week to be frisked 'for meat or meat products'

We really hope that it is just a funny PR story or the musings of a cranky old performer. But if it's the start of a new wave of ways artists start to treat fans we can't help but think that this should be taken to the european courts of human rights, put the artist on trial for crimes against common sense.

At what point should a paying fan be made aware they are going to be searched entering a venue for something so personal, and where does it end? hopefully without fans if it proves unpopular.

And at what point does Mr. Morrissey think a 'meat product' is acceptable. As nobody stopped that leather hand bag entering the building, nobody flushed out Mr A's lower intestine to check he hadn't had that peppered steak he promised himself before the gig.

So to ensure Morrissey doesn't call you, his paying public a hypocrite for being a fan AND a meat consumer, Gigseen is here to help you enjoy the best of Mr.Morrissey Live. If he is to continue taking this stance, we at Gigseen propose a few simple rules for the current Morrissey tour.

1.) Go Naked - that leather belt is not acceptable. Let your sweet meats swing!
2.) Gig at 8:00 - Colonic at 5:30, no dinner until afterwards. Be completely meat free to ensure entry and don't break wind! He'll sniff you out!
3.) Need somewhere to hold the tickets? - improvise but watch for thieves.
4.) Want to buy some merchandise - ensure it's 100% as ethical as the man whose quiff appears on it! or leave it on the shelf, he'd want that!
5.) Buying the tickets from a guy by the station? - ensure this is a vegetarian, if your tickets smell of meat then you are gonna get caught and be left outside and £100 worse off.

We all know the former Smiths man is a strict vegetarian and is demanding at the best of times, but this is a first and hopefully a last. We all have a right to make our own choices, don't we Morrissey?