Michael Jackson and the Inner Junkie

What we are seeing right now is a failing of the US legal system. Nobody and I genuinely believe nobody should ever have their trial played out as publicly as what we are seeing right now.

Before people make assumptions. I loved Michael Jackson's music. I have most of his albums (let's be honest, the latter were utter rubbish), a few DVD's, his video collections (let's be honest, nobody did it better) and THIS IS IT which was a great and fitting tribute to a musical professional.

And long may he be remembered for what Jackson did well. Sadly I get the feeling history will show him as something else....and let's not kid ourselves, Jackson was flawed and we accepted it (as we do with our idols).
Jackson was a drug addict...he was addicted to drugs and irrespective of their medical benefits, if used for the wrong reasons and in the wrong way, they will ultimately leave the user in a worse place than where they started.
Propofol is highly addictive - FACT. In the medical profession it is know as 'Milk of Amnesia' and Jackson simply and affectionately called it his 'Milk'. The American Society for Anaesthesiologists said the drug is 'meant only for use in a medical setting by professionals trained in the provision of general anaesthesia'. And here's the question, was Jackson paying Dr Murray to have his medical needs dealt with in a private manner (a £150,000 a month private practice), or was he paid to do Jackson's bidding and essentially be a courier with a tight lip.
Either way Jackson (and I very much believe his aides) knew that what he was injecting was not a product used as a sleeping aid. He was aware of the products uses and made an adult decision to take it. The photos of Jackson's bedroom being used in court look like modern versions of those described by William Burroughs in his book Junkie. The last years saw Jackson as a shadow of his former self and during the month he died he had been on many UK magazines questioning his health and showcasing facial scars and skin irregularities. The writing was on the wall but all we did was buy the magazines and laugh at the fallen icon.

Propofol is used for procedures requiring sedation, did Jackson need sedation? No, there is no reason to use the drug unless you were going into an operating theater. Jackson used it to check out of reality. His reality, the failed life of a boy that finally grew up and he didn't like being an adult. The boyhood dream was in tatters, the Jackson machine was just one big ball of debt and he had lost most of the things he had a few years earlier....Neverland was now Never Again Land.

I've been put under using Propofol and guess what...it was amazing, if you could bottle that feeling and sell it in the high street, guess what..I'd buy it. Many of those that have been sedated by it will know the 'high' it creates. It's euphoric, it's awesome...but that doesn't mean I'd want it everyday of my life, but I don't have an addictive nature. Did Jackson?
It's been reported that on the day he died, Jackson had taken enough Lorazepam - a drug that treats anxiety and insomnia disorders - to put six people to sleep. At this point you have to think, Propofol, Lorazepam....what else? you don't just decide to start taking these things and nor do those around you not know what you are doing (I don't think it was just the doctor).

If you are acting in a way that is self destructive, you'd think that those around you (staff, friends and family) would try to help you. Or maybe those that did were just replaced by those that wouldn't.