Justin Bieber has been included on TIME Magazine's annual 100 most influential people list.I can see why. He can't not be with millions of record sales, worldwide arena tours, his face on anything you can call merchandise and let's not forget 3D Bieber in the Cinema! There will be less available for Kate and William next weekend.
He is probably the most marketable 'teen' tool on the planet and it's via his music that he got there. Well done to him and his painfully large entourage.
Do I get the music? No.
Do I understand the phenomenon? Yes.
Do I feel I've been cheated by the music industry? HELL YES!
What us mid thirties oldies scratch our heads over is. Why a male? Since Donny Osmond grew up, influence for female teens has mostly been in the just pubescent female form. And just when those pop stars could become my guilty pleasure....along comes Bieber and I feel cheated.
Previous generations got Girl Power. In fact, it was so well designed there was a girl for each day of the working week. Then we had the hope of Britney and the promise of a sexual explosion (pardon the pun) that all our dads were not so secret fans of (if they had a pulse or hadn't left mom to live in Brighton with new daddy Barry.)
Now I am in the dad generation, I'm middle aged and I want a guilty pleasure. What those music guys didn't realise is that we want our kids to be focused on something that interests us too.
Lady Gaga sure ain't pretty enough (although we've all thought about it but realised we couldn't leave the wife and take her home to mom without firstly asking her to take off those stupid shoes) but apart from Gaga we've been cheated. In my head the prettiest women in music are now in there mid 30's and 40's. Where's the filthy hot pop teen? Cheryl Cole isn't it either. In fact I'd go as far to complain that my dad had it far better than I ever will, he got Kylie too! The more I think about this the more depressing it is.
Those marketing men have created the ultimate (DAMP) Dad's Anti-Music Pleasure. A young, perfect hair and bone structured young Canadian who bleeps and squeals about youth and love and buying his 'baby' "anything or any ring". He's only just turned 17 and he's wanting to settle down, please, let me talk to this kid...before he makes a big mistake!
At least the Spice Girls shouted about it just being sexual with their "If you wanna be my lover" and Britney just wanted guys to spank her "one more time".
Don't get me wrong, I love my beautiful wife, but I work hard, I deserve my guilty pop pleasure but I can't find her. So where is my firm young pop starlet?
It's just not fair.. Damn you Bieber, Damn you.